so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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