I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
