Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
