I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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