fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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