why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
