either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
