My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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