I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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