Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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