I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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