I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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