So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
