That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
