I wish you could order shots online.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
