I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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