She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes