As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.