You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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