am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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