So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
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fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
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I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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