if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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