With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
