i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
