Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize