Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
