When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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