We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Randomize
