I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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