And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize