Buhtt sex?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
