He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
