you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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