SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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