I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize