Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Two words: nipple clamps
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