Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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