No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
ok first of all what the fuck
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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