I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize