she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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