is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
