thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
