Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
how can u be prego again
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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