he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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