I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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