I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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