The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
