Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
