Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
