Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
