There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
