Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
