I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
