Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
