wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
