Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
