we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
