You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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