So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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