I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
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went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.