I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
