there's paper in my vomit.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
