Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
