i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My vagina just recognized that song.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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