I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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