i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
