I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
