just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
