Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
