maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
